Yahrzeit Candle Blessings
Written by Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Romain Friday, 03 July 2009
Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Romain responds to the question: I cannot seem to find what prayer to say when lighting a yahrzeit candle. Also, where should it be placed?The reason you could not find any blessing is because none exists! A clue lies in its very name, which is Yiddish/Germanic (meaning literally "the time of the year" i.e. the anniversary), which indicates that although it is a very commonly observed custom and one would suppose was very traditional, it is a relatively late invention, arising in late medieval times.
As it is not found in the original Jewish sources - the Bible or the Talmud - it does not qualify for the usual blessing for Shabbat, festival and Hanukkah candles which goes "asher kidd'shanu b'mitzvotav" (meaning: "whose commandments make us holy"). However, although there is no obligation to say anything on lighting the yahrtzeit candle, it may be appropriate to spend a moment in silence thinking about the person in whose memory it is lit. Moreover, if it is lit with other people present, then it would also be fitting to mention some anecdotes about the person, informing the others about him or her and why he or she was important to you, or sharing memories about him or her ("do you remember the ti me when..."). You may also wish to come to synagogue the week prior to the yahrtzeit, so that you can be present when their name is mentioned before the kaddish/memorial prayer.
As for why a candle is used in the first place, there are many different interpretations. One is that the flickering and then dying light is a symbol of human life, which darts here and there and then eventually fades away completely. Another is based on the Book of Proverbs, which declares "The soul of every person is the lamp of the Lord" (20. 27). The mystics point out that the gematria - numerical value - of the letters of the Hebrew phrase "ner daluk" ("a kindled light") is exactly the same as that of the Hebrew word "ha'Shekhinah" (the Divine Presence"), both adding up to 390, and therefore they have a connection with each other. In addition, some point out that the Torah portion Tetzaveh - which is read during the beginning of Adar, the traditional date for commemorating the death of Moses - starts with the command that the Israelites should "bring pure olive oil beaten for the light, to cause a lamp to burn continually" (Exodus 27.20). The candle itself should last for 24 hours, and it is lit the evening before the day the person died. (Some will observe the Hebrew date, others prefer the English one). It is put in a distinctive place (e.g. the sideboard in the dining room or man tel-piece in the living room) so that it is clearly visible.
There is a lovely reading in the Reform Movement siddur ‘Seder Ha-t’fillot’, ‘Forms of Prayer’ (page 426), which was written for the actual time of death, but which may also be suitable at a yahrzeit, part of which reads, "Eternal God, may the light of Your presence shine on us as we gather here, our hearts bowed down by the loss of..... whom You have gathered to Yourself…..We thank you for all that was gentle and noble in his/her life. Through his/her name inspire us with strength and light. Help us to use our grief itself for acts of service and of love".
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